雅思写作一直是雅思考生需要攻克的难题。那么通关秘笈是什么?很显然,雅思写作模板的时代已经过去了。 “英文写作逻辑和衔接”才是那条通往罗马的必经之路。参照雅思官方发布的评分标准,不难看出雅思对英文写作逻辑的重视: “逻辑与衔接”(Coherence and Cohesion)为四项写作评分原则之一。以6分的标准为例,写作评分标准中对“逻辑与衔接”是这样描述的:
l arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression (连贯地组织信息及论点,总体来说,能清晰地推进行文发展)
l uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical (有效地使用衔接手段,但句内及/或句间的衔接有时有误或过于机械)
所谓“清晰的推进行文发展”(见图表1中红色字体部分),至少要做到文章中使用到准确、有效的逻辑连词(logical conjunction) 又名信号词。信号词对于文章过程的连贯起到了作用, 它也是英语写作中众多过渡手段之一。雅思写作中常用到的逻辑连词按照分类如下10类:
(1)表示递进:and, also, too, in addition, moreover, besides ,furthermore, not only… but also…, along with, next, what’s more.
(2)表示时间: after, before, soon, when, until, during, immediately, then.
(3)表示举例: for example, for instance, such as, that is, in other words, in fact.
(4)表示相同即第二个观点在某些方面和第一个观点相似:Like, as, similarly, in the some way, as well, too, equally, likewise.
(5)表示不同,即观点和我们所期望的观点不同(读者需要对下一句的意思转换做好准备):Unlike, in contrast with\to, whereas, on the contrary, on the other hand, instead, but, however, yet, although, nevertheless, even though, in spite of, despite, rather than.
(6)表示因果:since, because, due to, owing to, for, as, because of, on account of, as a result, therefore, thus, hence, so, consequently, so…that.
(7)表示目的:in order to, in the hope that, so as to, so that.
(8)表示总结 in conclusion, on the whole, to conclude, to sum up, finally, at last.
(9)表示顺序:first, then, next, after that, finally, last of all, still, soon, later, initially.
(10)表示条件:if, unless, on condition that, as long as, in case, suppose.
这些起桥梁作用的过渡词语(Transitional Words\Phrases) 把文章有条理的衔接起来,使整篇文章流畅自然、语义连贯。
然而,这些看似简单的词语,在实际写作中却不容易掌握。根据近几年学生作文的情况来看,大部分学生都开始有意识的使用连接词来达到语篇的逻辑连贯,但在使用上仍存在问题。 下面我们重点分析几个常见问题:
1. 漏用逻辑连词。如:
1Home-working enables employees to work at ease. For example, those with childcare responsibilities could arrange their schedule flexibly. 2Working at home ensures employers’ multiple options in human resource.
仔细理解不难发现其实1句和2句之间的关系是平等的,均属于观点句。为了让这两个句子凸显出相应的地位,以区别中间的举例部分,建议在1句和2句之前各添加表示递进的逻辑连词,如what’s more或 in addition. 修改后如下文:
To begin with, home-working enables employees to work at ease. For example, those with childcare responsibilities could arrange their schedule flexibly. What’s more, working at home ensures employers’ multiple options in human resource…
2. 错用逻辑连词,如:
1One hand, home-working enables employees to work at ease. 2Nevertheless, these who are disabled can avoid many difficulties.
原文中1句和2句的逻辑连词都用错了。首先,从语法形式上看,逻辑连接词一般由连词、连接副词、介词、介词短语等充当。而1句的句首“one hand”是一个名词短语,证明不正确。我们需要做的修改是将“one hand”改成一个介词短语“on one hand”作为1句的逻辑连词;而相对应的逻辑连词应该是“on the other hand”,衔接与1句中观点相对应的另一方观点。比如:
On one hand, home-working enables employees to work at ease. On the other hand, employees may be confronted with some problems brought by home-working.
而对于2句中的连词使用错误是“nevertheless”这个逻辑词的意义与2句中的内涵不符。原文中的2句 these who are disabled can avoid many difficulties 是对1句观点的一个扩展和支持。所以2句和1句之间的逻辑不应该是nevertheless所表达的转折关系;相反,应该是递进或举例关系,所以可以做以下修改:
On one hand, home-working enables employees to work at ease, especially to those who are disabled, who can avoid many difficulties by working at home.
或者修改为:
On one hand, home-working enables employees to work at ease. For example, those workers who are disables can avoid many difficulties by working at home.
3. 滥用逻辑连接词。有的雅思考生主观地认为尽量多用连接词语可以加强句际衔接,但结果是连接词语过分堆积,造成多余,评分标准中所提到的“机械”地句子衔接(见上文下划线部分)。如:
1Working at home ensures employers’ multiple options in human resource. 2However, if they hire staff through modern technologies, such as internet, fax, or telephone. 3It is hard to know how the employee’s quality is which takes disadvantages of the company. 4 Although it is hardly capitalize on employer.
请注意红色字体标注的部分,均属于滥用逻辑连词的部分。可以 看到,在4个句子中,这位考生错用了3个逻辑连词。这个现象属于 “makes inadequate, inaccurate or over-use of cohesive devices(衔接手段不足、不准确或过度使用)”——这是5分写作水平的评价。为了改善这个问题,达到6分的标准,建议可以做如下修改:
1Working at home ensures employers’ multiple options in human resource. 2However, if they hire staff through modern technologies, such as internet, fax, or telephone,3 it is hard to know how efficient the employees are. 4Therefore, home-working can hardly benefit employers.
1句是观点句,保持不变。根据意义判断,原文的2句是想要反驳该观点,所以原文中使用however是正确的。问题是表示条件的逻辑连词if后面引导的是从句,而原文当中却没有相应的主从关系句型跟if搭配,导致严重错误。修改方法是将2句和3句之间的句号改为逗号,使3句成为2句的主句,突出if条件句的主次关系。对于原文的4句来说,用逻辑连词although是不恰当的。因为显然句子内容想要表达的是对前面三句的一个小总结,因此逻辑关系应该用therefore来引导。
通过本文,我们了解到雅思写作中逻辑衔接的一个重要手段——逻辑连词的使用是如何影响写作得分的。我们也可以通过例子看到中国的雅思考生在使用逻辑连词的过程中最容易出现问题。我的建议是仅仅通过记忆更多类似的词汇是不足以实现提高分数的目的的,我们还需要有意识地阅读考官的范文,通过模仿的手段来表现自己英文写作内容才能够实现突破。